Day
One: Jagermeister Optional?
The trouble began with the ringing of a phone.
Fabman looked at the phone, aghast. The last time that particular phone
rang he'd been obliged to travel halfway around the world while taking
care of a snot stained torch and figuring out how to keep his fellow
GSR members out of foreign prisons. Mr. Fabulous had a bad feeling
about the ringing of that phone. He reached warily for the red
phone and answered just as warily, "Yeah?"
On the other end an enthusiastic RBokie was already speaking. "Fab! I
knew you'd answer! Barndog wasn't sure you would," Bokie laughed. "I
have great news!"
"Oh, yeah?" Fabman wasn't sure it was great news since it was coming
from Bokie and for once Bokie wasn't spitting sarcastic barbs at him.
"The Equinics Flame is coming to Michigan for a big party before we
hand it off to Nexis," Bokie enthused. Fabman was silent on the other
end of the phone long enough for Bokie to say, "Fab? Are you there?"
"Yeah," Fabman sighed heavily. "Where do we have to pick it up from?
Dubai? Denmark? Lichtenstein?" With each word, Fab's voice got heavier
than his sigh.
"We don't have a track in Lichtenstein," Bokie reminded him. "But if we
did, I'd still outride you there! HA!" Bokie laughed.
"Aren't you even excited about the Flame coming to Michigan?"
"The Michigan part is ok," Fabman said. "It's the how-the-hell-GSR
gets-it-to-Michigan part I don't like. Don't tell me Ireland is
bringing it to Michigan and GSR isn't going anywhere but here?"
Bokie snorted in his usual disgusted sarcastic way. "Of course GSR is
going somewhere," he replied. "We are going around the world!" Fabman
groaned out load and reached for a green bottle labeled Jagermeister.
"Don't touch that bottle!" Bokie barked as if he could see Fabman. "You
don't need the Paxil or the Jager. You just have to travel as far as my
farm."
"That's it?" Fabman's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "I get to stay in
Michigan? No world travelling for Mr Fabulous?"
"Or Bokie or Karie this year," Bokie said with
a smile as he mentioned his very pregnant wife. "All we have to do is
host a big party here at my farm when we hand off the Flame. Barndog,
DarylUCLA and MrLuck are taking the Flame on the road to visit all the
other GSR members in the space of a week! They will finish up here in
Michigan."
"Gee-Zus!" Fabman exploded. "Is Barndog crazy? I knew there was a
reason he wanted us all to do that map thing showing where we live!" (http://www.frappr.com/globalsimulatedracing)
"Well, pack your Paxil, Fabman. You're coming to the country!" Bokie
barked with an evil sounding laugh and promptly hung up. Now Fabman was
positive that the ringing of the phone meant trouble.
Across the country DarylUCLA was receiving a call from GSR's leader,
Barndog. "Daryl! I have great news!" Barndog said.
Daryl eyed the girls in short shorts jogging past his car as he sat in
heavy traffic in Irvine, California. "Will it get me from Point A to
Point B faster than I am now?" Daryl quipped.
"Well, Point A to Point B is actually a trip
around the world," Barndog chuckled. "You are going with me and MrLuck
around the world on the Equinics Flame trail!"
"Does the Flame have a new holder or do we have to use that snot
stained one we got when we won the last Equinics?" Daryl gave a shudder
of disgust as he thought of how Ray of Pye had garnered all the
best laughs of the previous Equinics Diaries because his snot had
gotten all over the handle of the Flame sconce.
Barndog was thinking the same thing but with not quite as much disgust
as Daryl because while Daryl had only heard the stories, Barndog had
lived them. To this day, the sight of Hannibal's gnarled feet as he
dumped sand out of his shoes was a worse memory for Barndog than any
created by Ray of Pye. "I think it's all new and shiny, Daryl," he
soothed. "Ldyssecret wouldn't have it any other way, I'm sure."
"Then hey, I'm in! It's better than sitting in traffic!" Daryl said,
his eyes drawn to another group of jogging babes.
The next call went out to Ohio where MrLuck was surfing the internet
for pictures of Irish babes. "Oh yeah! Celticbabes.com! Wooo hoooo!"
The phone rang loudly and he picked it up without taking his eyes off
the screen. "Lucky here!"
"MrLuck! It's Barndog!" The GSR leader had a wealth of good humor in
his voice. "Pack your bags!"
"Packed already, boss!" MrLuck chuckled. "I'm checking out the Irish
lassies since we'll be going to Ireland to pick up the Flame."
"How'd you
know?" Barndog asked curiously.
"Bokie sent me an
IM. He is far too happy to be staying home. Must be the impending
fatherhood," MrLuck replied sagely as he clicked from red headed lass
to red headed lass. "Just tell me when and where to meet you cuz I'm
ready to go!"
"There is a private
jet waiting for us at JFK," Barndog replied. "Our flight plan is to
leave tomorrow at 3 pm. That gives you a day to get to New York City.
Can you make it?"
"On my way now boss!
Tell me the terminal and I'll see you there!" MrLuck was already
turning off his computer and reaching for his car keys as Barndog began
to give him the flight information.
Irvine, California January 2006
|
The Tower at JFK International
|
Day Two: Erin Go Bra-less!
New York City in February was nasty. MrLuck
didn't like it and neither
did DarylUCLA. Both were in the back of a cab on their way to JFK
Airport to meet Barndog. Daryl made a rude sound as he looked at the
traffic. "And I thought California was bad," he grumbled under his
breath."This traffic is awful! And it's so cold here you can't tell the
girls from the boys with all those layers of clothes!"
MrLuck made a sound that could have been a grunt but Daryl wasn't sure
because MrLuck was all bundled up too. The cab finally pulled up at the
terminal and after several rounds of interminable waiting in line,
Daryl and MrLuck were ushered onto a very fancy, large, private jet
where Barndog was seated, beer in hand.
"Sit down! Take off those down jackets!" Barndog grinned, pointing to
the lush leather seating. "Stewardess! Bring these guys a beer!"
A lovely dark haired stewardess appeared with beers in hand and Daryl
and MrLuck sighed with relief. In no time at all the plane was in the
air and headed for Ireland. "Where exactly are we going?" Daryl asked
as he sipped his beer.
Barndog laughed. "A little pub outside of Dublin. Seems the Ireland
team never made it out of their own country."
"Would be difficult for me too," MrLuck nodded. "Great beer, great
looking women, decent food. Why leave?"
The three GSR members relaxed for the long flight, reclining their
seats to nap. They needed their energy for what awaited them in the
green hills of Ireland. They arrived very early in the morning in
Ireland and immediately took a cab to the village Barndog had
been directed to. The pub looked like a typical one. Nothing seemed at
all special about it except for the luxurious smell of fresh baked
scones emanating from the building.
"Oh ho!" exclaimed MrLuck, rubbing his hands together in satisfaction.
"We're in time for breakfast!"
They entered the pub and there was Techranger setting a large platter
of scones on the table. The Irish butter was already there waiting, a
deep yellow in color. MrLuck's eyes glittered as he took in the fare:
colcannon, corned beef, the current studded scones, lamb soup, fresh
caught salmon with leeks, champ, soda bread, and a gooseberry crumble
for dessert.
"We heard you'd be here today so we put on the traditional Irish spread
for you," Techranger said in greeting.
"Instead of an Irish breakfast," chimed in Twinhollow as he held up his
glass. "Want a pint?"
The Pub
|
Royal Tara Golf Club
|
The 3 GSR members sat down at the table and
broke soda bread with the
Irish residents. Stories of great sim horses flowed easily between
them. After the meal, Daryl stretched uncomfortably. "I need to walk
some of this off. Are there any sights in this village? Historic
buildings?"
"Hot babes," inserted MrLuck instantly.
The Ireland residents began to laugh. "Oh, you'll find all that and
more," they advised as Daryl and MrLuck made their way out into the
sunshine. They hadn't walked more than a block when MrLuck spied some
lovely females. Before Daryl could blink an eye, MrLuck had
engaged them in a conversation about golf which is how, a hour later,
Daryl found himself on the greenest green he'd ever seen, being
instructed in the finer points of the game by a buxom blonde Irish
lassie. It was a Sunday and there were other golfers as well,
many of whom were female. As they played a round with the 2 lassies, Mr
Luck managed to whisper to Daryl, "Do you see how they are all au
natural?"
"What?" Daryl frowned, lost as to MrLuck's meaning.
"They don't wear bras!" MrLuck said wiggling his eyebrows in what was
supposed to be a lascivious manner but was really just rather comical.
"Oh, c'mon," Daryl snorted in disbelief. "No way! The brassiere has
been worn for centuries."
"Not here," MrLuck chuckled, his eyes full of merriment. "Which is
certainly fine by me!"
Now that it had been brought to Daryl's attention he did rather think
that all the ladies on the green seemed rather, uh, unconfined. He
shook his head over MrLuck's luck in finding this out right away.
And in this day and age it did seem rather odd too but he wasn't going
to question it especially when when the blonde haired lassie put her
arms around him to instruct him with his swing. He began to hum a U2
tune and pretended he had no clue how to play golf. 'No wonder U2 are
so patriotic', he thought as the Irish lassie squeezed her arms around
him. 'The food's pretty good, the scenery gorgeous, the beer excellent,
and the girls hotter than hot!'
Several hours later a smug MrLuck and DarylUCLA returned to the pub
with the lassies for a final drink before they left. Barndog was
waiting for them with the Equinics Flame. Daryl inspected the handle to
make sure it wasn't the old snot stained one. "We're off to Scotland
now," Barndog was saying. "Blacksoxuk is waiting for us!"
"Ahhhh! More golf!" exclaimed MrLuck. "What a great trip this is
already!"
"Blacksoxuk likes baseball," Daryl told him but this didn't dampen
MrLuck's enthusiasm at all. He raised his glass of Guinness in a toast
and the entire Ireland residency, the two lassies, and Daryl and
Barndog yelled, "Slainte!"
Irish Lassies
|
Time to go!
|
They drank their fill of Guinness until the
cab arrived to take them back to the airport. With the Flame settled in
it's special travel holder on the plane, they took off for Scotland.
They arrived in Aberdeen in the evening and Blacksoxuk met
them with a huge grin on his face. He shook everyone's hand vigorously.
"I'm so happy to finally meet you all in person!" he said.
They hopped in his car and made their way to a local inn where they had
a lovely meal and talked American baseball non-stop. After dinner and
several pints of ale, Blacksoxuk escorted them to their rooms for the
night. "Tomorrow we'll see a bit o' Scotland!" he promised as he left
them.
"Oh, yeah, Scottish lassies," MrLuck chuckled. "Can't wait!" He shut
the door of his room leaving Daryl and Barndog with the Flame.
"Do you get the feeling that this is gonna be a long trip?" Barndog
asked Daryl, shaking his head.
"Hey, you're the one who chose Lucky to come along," Daryl laughed. "I
can't say he's the best choice but he sure is entertaining. He's got
built in radar for hotties and he never fails to strike up a
conversation. Women seem to love the guy."
"Well, then I'm sure you'll have a great time Daryl. As long there are
some hotties for you!" Barndog chuckled knowingly as he entered his
room.
Day Three: A Strange Day in the UK
Blacksoxuk woke the three Americans pretty early considering how much
beer they'd put away in the last 24 hours. But MrLuck was cheerful
anyway because of the prospect of more golf. Unfortunately for Lucky,
Blacksoxuk didn't have golf on the agenda. Instead, he had prepared to
accompany them to Northen England, to Yorkshire, where they would meet
up with Wenlock instead of touring Scotland. Daryl, who was still
reeling from too much
Guinness and a night spent dreaming of playing golf with Bono and bare
breasted Irishwomen, put up zero fuss at not being able to see
anything of Scotland.
And so, that was how the three American GSR members ended up back on
the plane with Blacksoxuk in tow, on their way to Yorkshire, England.
Blacksoxuk was rattling on about Britain, something about it being a
union of countries steeped in history and populated by a friendly
people who have a love for beer, sports, and a fondness for animals,
among other things. "Although some people in the more rural areas take
that fondness too far!" he smirked, knowing that even if the Americans
didn't get the joke Wenlock would when it was repeated to him.
When they arrived in Yorkshire they were greeted by Wenlock who was
wearing his stable silks with the big yellow smiley face on them.
At least it was easy for them to recognize him! The group was pretty
hungry and Wenlock told them of the English national dish of roast beef
and Yorkshire pudding. MrLuck's mouth watered as Wenlock explained the
origins of the dish stating that the dish was originally cooked in a
tin under the rotating spit on which roast beef was cooking. The juices
from the meat dripped on to the pudding giving it a delicious flavour.
In Yorkshire, it is still cooked around the meat tin and used to be
served as a first course before the meat and vegetables. These days it
is more often then not all served as one course. When Barndog asked
about the safety of such a meal with the Britsh mad cow problem.
Wenlock
said that there was no problem at all these days. He took the group to
a
nearby farm and told them that besides British beef being safe, beef
was available all over the world literally. He then showed them a
healthy looking cow named Atlas so they could see for themselves.
A fondness for animals!
|
No Mad Cow here!
|
Wenlock muttered and cursed as they left the
farm. You could normally see your face in his well shined shoes but the
walk in the farm field had muckied them. They were fine again though
after a good polishing. They left Yorkshire in the evening, well the
whole of Britain actually. Daryl was antsy to leave as the cold was so
bad that the women wore far more clothing than the Californian was used
to seeing. MrLuck was still a bit perturbed at not being able to play
golf in Scotland and Barndog was seriously wondering if the beef was
ok. Only Wenlock and Blacksoxuk seemed a bit sad to see Britain fading
away beneath the wings of their jet as they moved on to Italy.
Day Four: Ferraris and Flames
They arrived in Italy in the morning. Francesco met them and took them
to a nearby restuarant for breakfast. He explained that it was usually
cool in Italy at this time of the year but strangely the weather had
been even colder than usual and the forecasters were not sure
why. He told them that the Italian public had been made aware of
their arrival with the Equinics Flame and that later on, when they
arrived in Venice, a film crew would be on hand as they took the Flame
on a gondola through the streets. Since they were not scheduled to
arrive in Venice until the afternoon, Francesco told them he had a
treat in store for them - a trip to the Ferrari factory!
With the Flame aloft, the six GSR members climbed into a limo and took
off to see some Ferraris. They were met at the factory by one of the
Senior Vice Presidents who took them on a tour. A crafty looking MrLuck
kept hanging back at the very back of the group and he looked so sly
that Barndog was instantly afraid that Fabman would indeed have to fly
across the world to bail them out of jail. Daryl was fascinated by the
beautiful cars and all the Italians stared agog at Wenlock's
silks. At the end of the tour they were escorted to a large
showroom full of cars and trophies. That's when MrLuck's eyes lit up.
Barndog elbowed Blacksoxuk and with a movement of his eyes sent the
Scotsman to stand with MrLuck who was fixated by one of the Formula One
trophies. Not that he could have stolen it. It was far too big for him
to hide anywhere on his person but Barndog didn't even want him to get
the idea that he should try to make off with it because then they would
be nicked for sure. And Fabman would be furious, he thought with a
chuckle to himself.
They took some photos with the cars and then
headed off down the road to a little village where they stopped for
lunch. Despite the unusual cold they sat at an outdoor cafe drinking
hot coffee and eating steaming plates of pasta. MrLuck and Daryl were
distracted by all the ladies of the village who kept coming by to look
at the Americans and Brits. They were beautiful with big dark eyes and
long dark hair. Daryl was hugely annoyed that the weather was cold and
the ladies bundled up. He could not wait to get to Australia where it
was summer and he'd been promised that there were lots of hot babes in
very little clothing to look at.
After lunch they made their way to Venice where the mayor gave a speech
and Barndog gave a speech and a couple of Italian lovelies had to be
pried off him (they'd seen the towel picture in the sim calendar!)
MrLuck, however, was right there to sooth their disappointment that
Barndog was an engaged man. Wenlock and Blacksoxuk were amazed at his
prowess and Daryl once again just shook his head with a grin. Francesco
was busy being translator while all the media asked Barndog for quotes.
Finally, as the sun began to set they got on board the gondola for a
trip around the city with the Flame.
The Flame starts it's trip around Venice
|
Snow in Venice!
|
The people along the canals cheered and waved.
MrLuck even had a few ladies flash him. He and Daryl grinned and waved
at them while Barndog tried to look dignified while hiding his
laughter. Francesco explained that it was his countrywomen's enthusiasm
for the Equinics Flame and all it represented that made them so
boisterous and uncontrolled. Wenlock just smiled like the yellow face
on his shirt.
As they neared the end of their circuit of the city, in the darkness
that had fallen, it began to snow. Francesco exclaimed excitedly that
this rarely happened in Venice! The crowds were cheering louder now and
the scene was eerie and beautiful at the same time. Barndog was choked
up at being there in that moment, representing GSR on the Equinics
Flame Trail. MrLuck and Daryl were in awe of the gorgeous Italian women
who were brave enough to strip off their sweaters in the snow to wave
them in the air in greeting. In all, it was an exciting experience for
all.
Instead of staying the night in Italy, Barndog herded them all onto the
plane for the very long flight to Australia. They settled into the
leather recliners with blankets and pillows, all dreaming of what
awaited them in the summer down under.
Day Five: GSR Gone Wild Australian Style!
It had been decided that the GSR plane would touch down in the Gold
Coast and that all the Australians and the lone New Zealander would
meet them there. It was Fabman's job to contact everyone and make sure
they had the right day and time. He'd done this right away and everyone
seemed clear about where to go and when to be there. However, Fab was
worried that he had not heard from Barndog since their arrival in
Ireland. He hadn't heard anything bad but hearing nothing at all
couldn't be good! GSR had had their share and more of adventures the
last time the Equinics had come around. Fab knew it would be foolish of
him to think that they could stay out of trouble this time. In the four
days the group had been on the Equinics Trail Mr. Fabulous had had
nightmares revolving around stolen items, flying, the Flame, the Great
Wall of China, and various other things. He awoke each night in a
sweat, reaching convulsively for his Paxil.
He had just about gotten himself convinced that there was nothing wrong
on the Flame Trail when the red GSR phone rang. His blood pressure
instantly rose. "Yeah," he said when he answered it.
"Fabman! It's Bonus!" The voice on the other end of line was familiar
and a welcome relief to Fab.
"Bill, how are you?" Fab said in an almost cheerful voice.
"I'm great Fab. Just packing for my trip to Michigan," Nextbonus told
him. "Randy and I will be heading up there today. We just thought we'd
swing by and pick you up too since you dislike travel."
Fabman thought about that for a moment wondering how he'd weather the
short trip to Bokie's farm. Not that he thought there would be any
problems going along with Nextbonus and RCDLogan. He just hated travel
of any kind. "Ok," he decided. "Just give me a call when you're half an
hour away and I'll be as ready as I can be."
"See you then!" Bonus said and hung up. Fabman grabbed his Paxil and
swallowed one. As soon as he'd done that the phone rang again. This
time it was Bokie.
"Ha Ha!" Bokie laughed. "I hear you'll be here tonight with Bonus and
Randy! We've got a lot to do around here to get ready for this party
and Karie is busy with Trent so it's all up to us guys." Trent was
Karie and Bokie's newborn son. The thought of the baby giving Bokie
sleepless nights was delightful to Fabman. He smirked to himself as he
thought of all Bokie had to look forward to as a new parent.
"Bokie, it will be a pleasure to see Karie," he said. "And I'm sure
we'll be able to arrange this party without her assistance. Besides,
other GSR members will be arriving from all over the US to help out."
"Well I heard that PazJazz has a little side trip planned for the folks
who are picking him up," Bokie's voice was full of mirth. "Can't wait
to see the pictures from that one!"
"Who is picking him up?" Fabman asked curiously.
"Slowracers is coming up from Florida and she'll meet up with Ts1442 in
North Carolina. Then they are heading for Tennessee and Paz. On the
east coast we have Keely picking up Marmac in Massachusetts and the
entire New Jersey contingent - Dilaika, Dundey, Lookout, and Pgpg. Kaif
is heading here on his own from Minnsota as is Chilimac from Missouri.
On the west coast, Winter is bringing along TheOC and stopping for
Ledwith in Arizona. I haven't heard from the others but if they can
come, I'm sure they will!"
"You will have a full house Bokie," Fabman warned.
"No problem, Fab," Bokie said in assured tones. "You just worry about
bringing your Paxil and Jagermeister!" With a laugh Bokie hung up,
leaving Fabman feeling more worried than ever.
Surfers Paradise
|
Surfers Paradise
|
Meanwhile, the team with the Flame had arrived
in Australia where it was indeed summer. Ricdav was the first to greet
them followed by YellowDog, Dunnman, Punter34, Opcon, Ozsteve, and
Hawkz from New Zealand. Broohar had sent his regrets as his wife had
just had their first child only days before Karie and Bokie. He was not
prepared to leave their side even for the Equinics Flame. The rowdy
group went straight to their hotel to change into beachwear. Daryl was
the first onto the sand at Surfers Paradise, his eyes scanning for the
scantily clad hotties promised him by Ricdav. MrLuck, meanwhile, was at
a poolside bar chatting up some lovelies from the outback.
The Australians and the Kiwi meanwhile, were eager to talk to
the GSR leader in person. They found a beachside cafe and ordered food
and drink, peppering Barndog with questions about the Flame Trail and
the festivities and plying him with beer. Just about the time the
conversation began to lag a bit Opcon noticed Daryl.
"Hey check out Daryl!" he exclaimed. "He's found a bikini photo shoot!"
There was a lot of hooting and hollering after that. Daryl was sitting
in the sun not three feet from where a photographer was taking pictures
of a model in a bikini. Every time the model needed to change Daryl
held her bag while she rummaged in it for the next outfit. It was a
cush job for the Californian and he seemed well able to handle it.
 
MrLuck hangs at poolside
|
 
Daryl finds a photo shoot!
|
Unfortunately, MrLuck's luck had run out.
While he was lounging at the pool bar he'd made a couple of new
friends, a pair of ladies on vacation from the Outback. They were young
and gorgeous and eager to improve their tans while talking to an
American from Ohio. MrLuck was in his element. One of the girls swam
over to the bar to get replacement drinks and MrLuck had his back to
her while he chatted with her friend. At a touch on his shoulder, he
reached behind him and wrapped his arm around the waist of the girl
who'd gone to get him a drink. Only it wasn't the girl who'd gone to
get him a drink. She was still swimming back from the bar. His arm was
wrapped around a matronly, gray haired woman who screamed bloody
murder! The girls from the Outback began to giggle. MrLuck turned a
strange shade of red. The matron was white faced and outraged. Hotel
security came and MrLuck was ejected from the pool area for grabbing
the mother of a local politician. Luckily, no harm was done as long as
MrLuck remained away from the pool so Fabman was not called.
That night the GSR crew had a big dinner at the Sheraton Gold Coast and
the local media attended to cover the Equinics Flame story. MrLuck
stayed well hidden in a group consisting of Dunnman, Punter34, and
Blacksoxuk. Francesco was the only one who seemed like a fish out of
water as the effusive Italian tried to speak to the photographers who
couldn't cut through his accent while he couldn't understand their
Australian cant. It was a successful dinner though and afterward they
packed up and headed out to the plane.
It was another night of flying for the GSR crew as the plane made it's
way to South Africa to pick up Marc. This was all accomplished while
most of them slept. Only Barndog and Daryl were awake for Marc's
arrival. As the plane took off again, Daryl asked, "This is a long
trip! Where are we off to now?"
"To see the Scotian King," Barndog murmured pulling up his blanket.
"Better get some rest. You'll need it," he warned.
Day Six: The Scotian King and Michael Buble
While the GSR jet was enroute to Nova Scotia
from South Africa, Slowracers had met up with Ts1442 and PazJazz in
Nashville. Paz had a plan to take Slow and Tom to the World's most
famous Honky Tonk
bar, Tootsie's Orchid Lounge which is right behind the Ryman
Auditorium, first home of the Grand Olde Opry. Tootsie's is where
all of Country Music's most famous outlaws used to slip to for a quick
drink and a set or two when they played at the Ryman for the Opry.
According to Paz, you just never know who will stop in there and play a
song or two. Willie Nelson was even found there before he was famous.
So Slow and Tom were sure to be in for a good time with Paz!
Boy is that place purple!
|
The World
Famous Tootsie's Orchid Lounge
|
When they got there Slow took out
two cowboy hats and asked Paz and Tom to pose in front of Tootsie's
with
the hats on. Neither looked happy at the prospect of all of GSR seeing
them looking like a couple of cowboy hicks so they had her take the
picture in Tootsie's Alley and kept telling her to
step back until they were sure they were quite small and out of focus
in the picture. That way they could deny it was them if anyone ever
asked.
A blurry Ts1442
and PazJazz in Tootsie's Alley in Nashville
They spent the evening laughing and drinking and listening to the great
country music. There was even a man at the bar who looked like Kris
Kristofferson and when Slow approached him she could see it was him!
She got a hug and an autograph on her t-shirt which made the night for
her. They gave Bokie a call from the bar when they couldn't reach Fab
and he laughed a lot while trying to tell them that Fab was on his way
to the farm with Bonus and Randy.
"Well, I think that's what we should do too," Tom said finishing his
beer. "Good thing Slow's been saving her drinking for the party, right
Paz?"
"Oh yeah, oh yeah," Paz muttered into his beer. Tom and Slow helped him
out to the car and they started north toward Michigan.
The GSR jet landed in the fog in Nova Scotia. No one on the plane,
except for Barndog and Daryl knew where they were. However, everyone
knew the face of the Scotian King, Dougiec, when he climbed into the
plane. "Dougie! DUDE!" MrLuck exclaimed, clapping Dougie on the back in
welcome.
Everyone gathered around to say hello and finally Dougie himself was
able to say something other than, "Nice to see you."
"Well c'mon down outta this plane! We've got somewhere to go!" he told
them all. They filed off the plane and Dougie first took them to a
hotel to shower and eat breakfast. During breakfast he heard the
tale of the Flame to date. "This is a once in a lifetime trip!" he said
in awe. "I wish I could have been there from the beginning but this
will be fun anyway."
"Gee the only thing I know about Nova Scotia is that this is where all
the planes were diverted to on 9/11," Marc said shaking his head. "And
that it's Canadian."
"All things Canadian are excellent," Dougie proclaimed stoutly.
"Michael Buble," Daryl muttered in a dark tone.
"What?" Dougie asked, his eyes narrowed.
Daryl sighed. "Michael Buble. He's Canadian. I don't know that he's all
that excellent."
"He sounds just like Frank Sinatra!" Dougie gasped. "How could that not
be excellent? They use his rendition of Come Fly With Me in Starbucks
commercials! His song Home
was in the movie The Wedding Date! The man has put Canada back on the
music charts!"
"Bryan Adams must be turning in his grave," Barndog chuckled.
"He's not dead!" Dougie exclaimed, almost outraged.
"Oh, sorry. His career's been dead so long I thought he was too,"
Barndog apologized, trying unsuccessfully to hide his grin.
Dougie huffed and puffed for a few more moments before he realized the
others were teasing him about his patriotism. Then he relaxed and
smiled a little, outrage still only a hair away. "Today we're
going to the food and wine show!" he told them. "I probably shouldn't
have let you eat but you all seemed so hungry and tired I didn't have
the heart to make you wait."
MrLuck grunted. "Better to have some food in our bellies if we're gonna
start drinking wine right off the bat today!"
Dougie thought for a moment then he said, "I know! We'll go on a
lobster adventure tour first. That should bring us back in time to
enjoy all the food and wine at the festival." He directed everyone to
dress warmly and then it dawned on him it was the wrong season for a
lobster adventure. The weather was too bad. Dougie looked thoroughly
disappointed while the cold Australians could barely hide their relief.
"Skiing?" he suggested hopefully. The Australians shook their heads. He
thought some more and finally said, "We could go on a winery tour." As
cold as it was, everyone was in favor of some wine!
They spent the day checking out the winery and the food festival. They
were all a little tipsy and quite overstuffed by day's end. And even
the Australians had to admit that Nova Scotia covered in snow was quite
beautiful, if a bit too cold for them. MrLuck had had some furtive
expressions a few times during the day and Barndog had watched him
carefully but couldn't detect any sign of wrong doing that might get
them in trouble. However, when it was time to go to the airport MrLuck
seemed quite nervous. And rightly so as it turned out.
Nova Scotia in winter
|
Lobster Statue
|
Fabman had made it to Bokie's
under heavy Paxil sedation and liberal dosings of Jagermeister. He was
now sitting with Karie looking at Trent, the new baby. When the red
phone rang, at first Fabman ignored it, not realizing what it was.
Karie gave him a stern frown and looked pointedly from the red phone to
him and then it dawned on him that he needed to answer it.
"Fabman here!" he barked into the phone.
Karie and Nextbonus drew closer to Fab as they heard loud voices on the
other end of the phone. Fab's face turned a number of different shades
and his expression was mutinous. "I'll call you back!" he said roughly
and slammed down the phone.
"What's wrong?" Nextbonus asked curiously.
"I need Topicount's phone number," Fabman said heavily. "MrLuck has
gotten our entire contingent arrested by the Royal Canadian Mounted
Police for smuggling!"
"WHAT!!" Bokie's voice was an outraged yell as he entered the room to
hear this last bit.
Fabman somehow found the wherewithal to tell the tale of MrLuck
stealing a lobster statue in Halifax and trying to get it through
customs and onto the GSR private jet. The more MrLuck had tried to
explain that it was a joke he was playing on Dougiec the more the
RCMP's didn't believe him, until at the end, they had detained the
entire group. Bonus quietly handed Fab Topicount's phone number.
Topicount, while not a member of GSR, was reknowned in the sim for her
legal prowess. Fab's phone call to her was mercifully short. She'd told
him that she'd have someone call someone else who'd call in a favor and
they'd all be let go as long as they got right on the plane to
Michigan. All she wanted in return were a bunch of Michael Buble CDs
that Dougiec was happy to give her.
"OK. That's it," Bokie said sharply. "It's time to get this celebration
under way. Everyone will be here tomorrow and we have a lot of work to
do! Let's hope nothing happens to that plane en route or we'll have to
figure out how to delay Nexis from picking up the Flame!"
Day Seven: GSR Invades Michigan
Fabman gave a
sigh of relief. The trouble he'd sensed was brewing from the moment
that red phone had first rung was all over now. The group that
had gone around the world in seven days was on a bus to Bokie's farm,
having made it out of Nova Scotia with the assistance of
Topicount. Mr. Fabulous himself had had to travel no further than
his own home in Michigan to Rbokie's farm and he'd been able to do so
in the excellent company of Nextbonus and Rcdlogan. Paz, Slowracers,
and Ts1442 had made it from Nashville although Paz had nursed a
hangover for part of the trip. Keely arrived with a van full of East
Coast residents. Luckily for her the New Jersey residents had snoozed
during the drive and she'd only had to contend with Marmac who wanted
to talk about Punxsatawney Phil, the groundhog, who'd seen his shadow
that week. Kaif arrived looking harried and rumpled. Chilimac had
turned up from St Louis in a t-shirt with Towelie on it so everyone
would know who he was. Winter had picked up theOC and driven to Arizona
where they picked up Ledwith and got on a plane at Sky Harbor Airport.
She arrived a bit frazzled because Ledwith had been trying to get her
to loan him the piece of the Churchill Downs Twin Spires that she'd won
from Bulletwork over at the Kentucky Horsemen.
Bokie, Bonus, Fab,
and Randy had been hard at work to turn what was usually a barn for
storing hay into a party place. GSR banners hung from the
ceiling. Tubs of ice were filled with Guinness and an assortment
of other beers and sodas. A bar was set up in the corner and well
stocked with scotch. A makeshift stage was set up as well and band
equipment stood at the ready. There were tables ready for dining,
a makeshift dancefloor, and a karaoke machine. Almost the entire
residency was there and everyone was awaiting the arrival of the Flame.
The bus carrying the
world travellers arrived just as it was starting to get dark. Dougiec
was first off followed by MrLuck and all the Australians. Then came the
Brits, Hawkz, Marc and DarylUCLA. Last off was Barndog carrying the
Flame. The entire residency began to cheer! "Woo woo woo wooo!"
"Whew!" Barndog
laughed and passed the Flame to Daryl who passed it to MrLuck. And it
went from hand to hand then in the order in which they had come along
on the Flame trail: Blacksoxuk to Wenlock to Francesco to RicDav to
Punter34 to YellowDog to Opcon to Dunmann to Ozsteve to Hawkz to Marc
to Dougiec. Then it went hand to hand from the team members who'd come
across the US: from Slowracers to Ts1442 to PazJazz to Keely to Dundey
to Dilaika to Lookout to Pgpg to Marmac to Chilimac to Kaif to
Winter to the OC to Ledwith to Randy to Nextbonus to Karie to Rbokie
and finally...to Fabman who put it in a sconce on the wall. "Don't burn
down the barn!" he told it gruffly. "No problems from you until after
you've gone over to Nexis in the morning!"
Everyone laughed
then and Bokie yelled, "It's party time!!" After that the rest of the
night was a blur for all. There were phone calls from the residents who
couldn't be there: Broohar in Australia, Smokeglack, Epcotlen, Doctahg,
Cvbear, Tseals and more. The scotch drinkers had clustered around
Ledwith as he cracked out his special stash of 21 year old, hard
to find, Springbank single malt whiskey. YellowDog, Randy, and Chilimac
all sipped and sighed which made Ledwith smile widely. The tub full of
Guinness had been raided by Kaif, Paz, and Bokie. Fabman had even
relaxed enough to share some of his Jagermeister with Dougiec. Keely
and Winter were drinking mudslides but Winter kept eyeing the margarita
pitcher. Slowracers had a rum and coke and Bonus had a screwdriver. The
whole residency was getting plastered!
Ozsteve got very
loud and friendly. He kept clapping MrLuck on the back. Lucky kept
telling the story of the lobster statue. Daryl, who had a nice
hefeweizen in his hand, kept telling the story of Lucky and the
politician's mother. Paz was very talkative and even owned up to
being in the cowboy hat picture with Ts1442. YellowDog got quite
uninhibited after too many of Ledwith's single malts and was looking
for someone to dance with. Keely got flirty and Bonus flirted back
which gave the truth to his statement that he behaved badly when
intoxicated! Chilimac was bragging about 16 furlongs which made
Slowracers smirk. Daryl, Kaif and Dougie were all very happy and funny.
Barndog, Winter and Karie watched them all slowly spiral into happy
drunkeness.
"But wait," Karie
murmured to Barndog. "There's more!"
No sooner had she
spoken than Bokie and his band took the stage. They played the loudest
renditions of TOOL songs that Winter had ever heard, outside of TOOL
themselves. When Bokie broke into Queensryche songs, playing Silent Lucidity, Winter sniffled.
"What's wrong?" Fabman asked.
"I'm gonna have to
breed over Silent Lucidity soon. Poor old thing," she sniffed. Fabman
nodded sympathetically.
Some of the
residents tried to dance to the music but it really wasn't their style.
It clearly puzzled Marc and Francesco that anyone would even try to
dance to rock songs! Lookout spotted the karaoke machine and then it
was time to laugh! He gave a try at a Diana Ross song that had Bokie in
tears. Then Dundey tried to sing a Neil Diamond song but that was even
funnier. Wenlock and Ricdav tried a Fleetwood Mac tune but when Ledwith
chimed in it went all wrong. Pgpg and Dilaika chose an old Johnny Cash
song but they didn't really know it so they were lost. The OC went for
a Killers tune which ended up with Bokie's band back on stage.
Trying to dance to rock music!
|
Passing out on hay bales!
|
By midnight everyone
was falling down drunk except for Karie, Winter, Barndog and Fabman.
Even Bonus was out cold on a hay bale. "Well, I think that wraps it up
for this edition of the Equinics Flame Trail," Barndog said with
satisfaction.
"I would say so,"
Winter agreed.
"Thank goodness!"
Fabman said with heavy relief. "If this was every year it would kill
me!"
"Hey!" Came a faint
but sarcastic rumble from one of the hay bales. "It ain't over til
Nexis gets here. Someone better tell them not to knock too loud on the
door or I'll have to kick their..." A loud snore followed the trailing
off of Bokie's voice.
Karie chuckled. "I guess that would be the end, wouldn't it?" Barndog,
Winter, and Fabman all laughingly agreed.
THE
END
|
